Telling the Internet, Part I

My brother and I were chatting tonight and abstracting ideas as we do. I forget how we got onto the topic of 'what would be the best way to upgrade your genitals'. After considering the practicalities of having a plastic surgeon remodel your junk into the shape of either the 'Oseburg' viking ship or a chainsaw, we wondered if it would be possible to have a soundbox implanted to get the 'revving' noise that is so characteristic and impressive.

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 I mentioned that a) I'm sure it would be possible to get a small device implanted that plays the noise at need and b) that surely such a device could be Bluetoothed to an iPod or somesuch.

There is no reason you could not aftermarket modify your genitalia to play my brother's favourite song.

We then moved on to what songs would be most amusing if you did indeed have the ability to make music with your wang. My brother mentioned MC Hammer, meaning Hammertime, but he's phrased it 'what MC Hammer  rap would be most appropriate'. I was googling for MC Hammer's discography in seconds. The results were much funnier than expected.

• 1987: Feel My Power
• 1988: Let's Get It Started
• 1998: Family Affair
• 2001: Active Duty

And my personal favourite:

• 2006: Full Blast

We laughed. It was nice. 

Any other suggestions for (in)appropriate themes? Others I thought of as good canditates are swelling (pun intended) orchestral anthems. The Russian National anthem springs to mind.